Okay, gang, everyone's been bugging me for my top film of 2002. Before you proceed, perhaps you should review my top 9 films of 2002, from which I've selected the winner.

Done? Hokey dokey.

Let's face it, Facerfans. 2002 sucked for films. Geek genre films hit it big with Spider-Man, Attack of the Clones and The Two Towers, but none of these were good films, just good fast food flicks. Take their technology out, and you'll find no art. Even About A Boy, which I found really, really entertaining, was still formulaic.

No, for me the two leading contenders were films of a different sort. Films that cut the edges of what we are used to seeing in our darkened theaters (or, in my case, my darkened, private, 400-seat screening room.)

The Runner Up

Austin Powers in Goldmember. This film had everything it takes for a great film: humor, adventure, and a stirring tale of family. Read my full review here which dispells the myth that this was a "comedy." In this film, cinematic auteur Michael Myers shows us the hard edges of the diamonds of our souls, and does so with a melange of wit and midgetry that few others filmakers dare. Certainly Fellini and Godard have attempted, but here Myers proves his vision is the stuff of artistry, as if the very Allegory of Art were his personal muse. Well done, Mr. Myers... well done.

The Best Film of 2002

As if you doubted it, TheFacer.Net's Officially Best Film of 2002 Award goes to REAL ULTIMATE POWER: THE OFFICIAL NINJA MOVIE! A website-turned-movie, this extraordinary film has everything anyone with a pulse could ever want in a film. Sexy ninja babes, frenzied ninja dudes, and wailing guitars that will make you want to flip out and cut your own head off!

All your base may belong to us, but all our props go to the talented crew who suffered long hard hours putting this masterpiece of internet cinema together. What makes RUP:TONM such a work of art? Let's review:

1.) The film is enjoyable, and that is ultimately the goal of any film. If anyone watches the entire 14 minute movie and does not enjoy it, they are dead, and thus have given up their rights to a proper burial and deserve to be beheaded by angry, flipped-out ninjas.

2.) The film is educational. In the best of quasi-cinema verite style documentary filmmaking, the producers cleverly hide an informative, educational film in the guise of an action-packed thriller. Did you know, for example, that Ninjas are, in fact, mammals? Did you know that their only purpose is to flip out and kill people? No, you didn't know that, did you? Well now you do. Imagine what other educational epiphanies await you when you watch the whole thing!

3.) The film is hot. Yep, there are some babes in it. Ninja babes, to boot. Yep, to boot your sorry ass, you pathetic huskfucker!

4.) The film is technically proficient. Lighting, editing, sound ... all of these technical contrivances are lifted to a new level of pseudo-shakycamist neo-morphism, presenting the viewer with a cacaphony of experiences, all set to really tight tracks!

5.) The film is about Ninjas. Ninjas are sweet, and can cut your head off. If that's not reason to vote this film as the Best of 2002, then I don't know what is.

6.) It's been released on the 'net, so it's free, dumbass. Go see it now. Here.

I don't know what the budget for RUP:TONM was, but I imagine it was slightly less than what George Lucas had to shop with for Attack of the Clones. Having said that, why then did I have a better time wathing RUP:TONM than Clones? Could it be because the filmmakers have a soul? Yes! I dare say it, yes!

Facerfans, you owe it to yourself to go see this puppy right now. Like the Blair Witch Project, some Hollywood scumbag (like Vinnie) will probably try to rip off the look and feel of RUP:TONM and make some half-assed, commercialized clone of it. Accept no imitations.

Trust your Facer. Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Movie is the best film of 2002, bar none.